Worth More

A lesson I learned.

We were waiting at the school for my son. She asked me if.."(Enter her fathers name) had other kids?" I told her, "Soon" and went back to reading some recipes. Next thing I know she asked me "Will he buy presents for that kid like he does me?" and I replied with "Probably" and again went back to people watching and off and on recipe reading. 2 mins later she then commented about how he buys her presents. Okay ignored that comment. Half a second later she states that she has already misplaced the clothes to her barbies(presents from her dad and his mom). I look up and start to think. She then hits me again.. "When I see (enter her fathers name) again will he have presents for me?" 

Now my kids are not materialistic. We can go to a store and they will only ask for a snack 97% of the time nothing else.

That's when it hit me. He is only worth what he buys to her. And even then its not worth it because at the righteous age of 4...she misplaces things,ruins things..etc. So the materials are temporary items in her life that exit in a short timing matter. Now before I continue I want you to understand I am deep down not okay with this mind set my daughter has. I am not okay with her thinking presents are a must. 

But lets be honest. My ex's mother has done the same thing to him for 26 yrs. Material items met more to him then anything. She then turned around and did it to my kids. Comments made by her were things like "I want them to like me" "I brought presents so they will remember me for next time"... Now that I look back I should have put my foot down and hard!!

On that note I will. No more gifts. If he can not see them regularly,love them normally without all the gifts then he is only worth the dollars he spends and when he comes across like that..it also means my kids time,hearts and value are not high on his list. 

I know your thinking, here she goes again about her ex. No. I have caught a few people doing similar things. Maybe not as serious as my ex and how he is portraying himself to his own kids but things that I have put my foot down about.

For instance I caught myself and my other half,Rich. We tend to tell the kids what we have bought for them recently when they get their attitudes with us or get mad at a toy.  Instead of stating what we have done emotionally,mentally and with them...We went right to the material things. We also kept forgetting to remind them of right and wrong. This is how a frustrated conversation went just a few months ago.

My son: "Stupid car! *slams door to his room* Comes out of his room *throws the car*...

Rich or I: "We just bought you that!! "

Another version that I can remember:

My son: "I'm mad at you!!"

Rich or I: "Fine then we will take everything we have bought for you back!"

Now in some cases taking away what kids like and enjoy is good resource for punishment but in this case we were making comments...comments that put our worth into dollars. Our heart is worth more then money could buy and we want them to understand that. Love is priceless. Being with family is better then anything from a store.

Now we say stuff like "I can only play with you if you use your listening ears" "Please do not throw things because your angry,one day you will miss that(enter toy) if it breaks after you throw it" and things like that.

Funny how things take time for parents to realize they some times cause their own problems when it comes to their relationships with their kids. Also what we instill into our kids. 

We as parents are worth more then the objects we buy our kids. Our time,love and devotion is the best thing we can ever give. 


*Some presents are of course going to be the best thing ever in our kids heads but should never top love.

?Raven?