Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Robin Williams,May Peace find you.

I am only 26 but I have seen my share of celebrity deaths that hit home. Make you feel like you knew them. Unfortunately some were due to stupidity,drugs or recklessness. But last night as I sat on my porch I received a text telling me Robin Williams had been found dead. Then the next line is what stopped me in my tracks. "Apparent suicide". I then hopped on and thankfully have a wonderful network who also loved this man like they knew him. No one put him down for the fact he possibly took his own life.  What is sad is that some people did so I am here to tell you a little about depression and suicide. In honor of a great man. A great comedian who gave us laughs for so many years.

There is no right way to right about this topic because it comes in so many forms. But one thing I keep seeing is fans stating they hope Mr.Williams sees and feels all this love. The thing is where was the love prior? I always see Tatum Channing's photo up and quotes from other people but I must say I never saw much about Robin Williams and I am among those who didn't share. But that does not make it our fault. I doubt what goes on social media had anything to do with his mind set.

Another part of depression is its not that easy to feel love. Its like your heart is on thin ice. 

There's the fake part. Where you put on the act of being fine.

There is the part where sometimes the people around you are in denial themselves. I have been through depression and suicide thoughts more then once in my life. I have had people walk away from me. At the most crucial part,they walk away. They think your just sad,stressed,mad etc. Not always their fault. They are not psychiatrists or even aware sometimes. Its our duty in this world to make people aware and even more so now that someone who was loved by millions might have gone down this ugly path. People don't realize walking away is the worse thing for someone in this state of mind. Some refuse to help. Some don't know how. Some take it as you being selfish and drama like. Some people blame your age. (She is just a teen going through teen stuff for example) We think its so easy to spot someone with these horrible mental anguishes but its not always that way.

There's another side as well. Your fine your fine then BAM your night and that one time you are not is the time you take your own life. There's cases where depression was not even a factor it was about sadness a great anger that couldn't be controlled.  That make us fall off that cliff we call life. Other cases its years of depression. You just never know. Sadly you might never know. Even the closest of people the majority of the time will never be able to come up with those answers. I have been trying for 20 yrs to figure out why my family lost a great man to suicide. There is days the "why's" and "What ifs" put me in a dark place. Trying to get answers that I just can't get. They say committing suicide stops the pain for you but starts it for the ones who loved you,knew you,cared for you and admired you.

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporarily problem"

There is a million sides to suicide and depression. A million different events,emotions,thoughts,differences and such. All that matters is we lost as a whole,a great man. A wife lost her husband. Kids(although grown) lost their father. The industry lost a talent that won't be found again. 

Its hard to wrap your mind around all this if you have never seen this sad disease up close and personal.  I have walked the ugly path. Let me personally tell you,people put on blinders to you,people do walk away knowing how fragile you are,the love is not always there. People just assume there is always that support there,simply untrue. Some people do but depression blinds them to it. Its a ugly thing,I can not say that enough. You feel so much hurt and sadness. You feel worthless. You can over come it but sadly some people never get to that point. 

The number one thing I want to portray here is something I even did. When I got the text about suicide I automatically said "No way". What would make me say that? because he is a comedian? Because he always had a smile? A heart of gold? Someone like that can't be battling their own demons? That was silly of me. Wrong of me. Anyone can be battling demons. A mom,a deans list student,a comedian,a teen,elderly man...anyone. 
Demons are a every day battle for some people you just don't see it. This might come as a shocker but we don't know it all. 

Rest in peace,Mr. Willams. I hope you found the peace you needed and deserved. You brought so many laughs to so many homes. So many memories. You had a impact on so many. No matter what the reason. You did one of the hardest things,you left your life behind to leave your pain behind. That's not a easy decision no matter what people think. Its not selfish. Its devastating. Let your family find closure. That is hard to do with this topic. This loss.


"No matter what people tell you,words and ideas can change the world." Robin Williams

"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?" Robin Williams


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